by It&i

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It&i recorded this on a cassette-tape-4track deal, and played all the odds and ends Ourself. Our friend Ray Hughes helped us put the tracks into a computer, and he also polished them up with various means of technical wizardry.


released January 6, 2016



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It&i Portland, Oregon

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Track Name: The Big Shit

I've been a child longer than is appropriate
I put on big boy clothing but it never seems to fit
My words all lose their meaning while preening peacocks kill
Gravedigger fornicators looking for a hole to fill
A nursing home for heartless butchers - contagious boredom blooms
Symptoms painted on the walls in long deserted glooms
Pictures posing - noses turning up into the burning talk
Smitten witless wonder whimpers - endless shit to fill a crock

A peaceful state of mind - the ducks all in a row
The fervent fist of justice always claiming it is so
A pile of broken toys - a decoy that annoys
So polish up your grab-ass ploys and go impress the big boys
Hey buddy can I get a piece of your big highbrow?
I wanna be a big shot - to be the big shit now

We made a monument to worship nothing
the plushest animals leaking precious stuffing
Always(sometimes) something other - smothered ashes on a shelf
Warring factions fractioned oddly into fragments of a self
Trickle down into a puddle muddled with the sentient
Primordial the urges begging on until the guilts repent
Red hot screamin' demon stirs pots of wayfaring semen
Diamond/drab - am I ungleaming? Fuck it all! I must be dreaming...

You're in a nightmare now - and you'll never get out
All the creatures in the cupboards gonna gut you like a fish
You're in a nightmare now - and no matter how you pout
Your prayers will not be answered - no matter how hard you wish
Track Name: Beast in a Man Body

I'm the centerfold - meat bought and sold
Old waitress calls me: "honey"
Make your loins to toil - my fertile soil
Sucking the puss from your lanced boil
Shit on my life - you can't fuck me in the soul

I'm not cynical or clinical - the big bill
Fill the orifice with money
It's so magical - comic/tragical
Stirring the clots of your addict swill
Shit on my life - you can't fuck me in the soul

Juice that rotten fruit between your thighs
Failing in a lady's eyes
Phallical and generalized

Baby - oh won't you call me: "baby"
Cos perhaps maybe I caught a kind of
Rabies - no medicine can save me
And now I'm frothing and raving about
Shaving my body from it's mooring
The old man snoring
Becoming boring?

Sexual vegetation
Master and the bait

Feminine masculation
Oh - baby - baby - oh

Fester in stagnation
Our abrasions
Pulse with friction
A burst of gobs
And now I'm a pregnant man!

They say almost isn't good enough
But I almost called their bad bluff
They say almost isn't good enough
I took a long shot off the wrong cuff

Is it me or are our bodies erupting?
Corrupted by the devil or something
I can't hold a candle to gossips and scandals galore

But I'll try to make my mind up today
Before the whole damn thing gets blown away
By the surveillant meddle too tangled to settle the score

Track Name: Now Who's the Dummy?

You're just the body in my trunk
And I'm just a lousy old drunk
Seems like you've been there for years
Eating your blood - drinkin' your tears
Now you're nothing but ears
For your mind to debunk
Catastrophilia - philia - philia
Remind me
What was my line?
Catastrophilia - philia
I'm fine
You're just a figment my mind

You should be running out of air
Are you still alive down in there?
I feel the strain of the years
The nightmare smug array of fears
But after a couple of beers
I no longer care

We're not gonna make it
We've been whited-out

I'm just a doll in your bed
Mis-shapen features and nodding head
You've made my face up for years
With smoky shadows and rougey smears
A fogged mirror that never clears
Until we are dead
Track Name: A Cliché Malaise

Why isn't life as good as it looks?
The perfect moments like the ones in books?
Our jewels lie hidden - or fondled by crooks
Or are worn to not fulfill our tenterhooks
Lovemakers sigh
Too bored to try
Might as well shrug and say: "fuck it"
Hang your head and die

The glib glamors vie
For your piece of pie
Quite compelled til you kick the bucket
When you're dead who'll cry?
(payment on the sly)

Why isn't love a visible thing?
The perfect ointment for a poisonous sting?
Instead a stone in a swinging sling
Heft to split the skull unending

Just gum out on the road
Chewed and chewed but never swallowed
Then spit out and forgotten
Just another never-hole for you to aught in

Just turn the world around
The day is old and long and dead and grey
My head's begun to pound
My favorite places have all begun to decay
The part of thought that talks
Exaggerated nonsensing unlocks
The skin is wearing thin
From perching on the tip of a pin
Track Name: o'th'Wind

She was grand
Dressed like a man
Dressed like a man
Cos her man got canned
Worked for the man
Cos her man got canned
For the rap of a murder pinned

She worked all day
Wasted away
Wasted away
On the long cold bay
Washed away
Golden hair turned grey
In the deep dark bell of the wind
O the wind
O the wind
Hollerin': "let me in!"
Good things end
Meant to begin
In the deep dark belly of the wind

She waved goodbye
To her child so spry
Wavin' goodbye
Sayin': "momma don't die"
Eyes un-dry
Since daddy fried
In the deep dark belly of the wind
(chorus) x2

Days long gone
Whiskin' along
Whiskin' along
Like the church bell's gong
Right and wrong
To be put upon
The minister's lecherous grin

Sayin' "take my hand
be my bride
be my bride
cos your man done died"
She stepped inside
And he cut her wide
In the deep dark belly of the wind
(chorus) x2
Track Name: Summer: The Movie

We had decided we would win the lottery
Buy a house - plant a garden in the desert by the sea
We're made of each other and we're all that we can eat
In a car at the drive-in makin' babies in the back seat
I kinda lost my head
All the awful things you said
I guess summer only happens to the dead

I played the detective - and she played the thief
She left clues to the ruse restraining my relief
Woven out of wicker we would bicker who's to blame
Gotta match(?) What's the catch? We have bursted into flame
Track Name: Genetic Roulette

In the wrong and right
Absence of delight
You're the depth of height
Waiting for weights to sleight

You make medicine
Out of love and sin
For my harlot skin
Whimsical mannequin

You're a zoephobe
In hermetic robe
As the torments strobe
Pulsing fanatic globe

You're the concubine
For knowledge design
You're the ethic-twain
Birth/Death pain
There is a man in the living room
He is building himself a golden tomb
Out of the earthen womb
Out of the morning - into the night

In the rumor mill
Where the smalltalk swill
Pokes the holes to fill
Up with the dread of hell

What we all deserve
When our morals swerve
When the guns unnerve
Our vim and vigor verve

We're just suits for brains
We're just mops for stains
Thoughts without their trains
Sewage all through our veins

This is how it goes
This is all we know
This: the tell and show
Brains to blow

Surely I have not always been wrong
All along the boulevard disguised as ravens
Pickin' at the corpses of our youth
A shiny copper penny for each tooth

I'm just a baby
A little tiny baby
A whiny - snotty - young kid
I don't wanna die
I just want the world to stop
When I begin to cry

I want some candy
I am commanding
I am quite handy with a gun
I must remind
If I don't get what I want
Just how much you're gonna find

This sweet kid's gonna blow you open wide
Teach this flock the ropes of genocide
Life is just the chains that death abides

In a sequence of vague damnations
We're beginning to lose our patience
Hope wanes - love is the vampire draining

Take your medicine and do your homework
Don't be a coward - don't be a dick
Long days - shortening with every malaise

Sure I could be doing more
But isn't that what everyone else is for?
Track Name: Ménage à Moi

Is it so sick
To strike
The flame to your own wick?
My candle lights the darkest niche
Of which - the edge is dangling off the ledge
Adhesives cannot fix
A screw can't do the trick
Because it isn't made of magic

My mirror face
I chase
Through halls of my reflection
Handsome as a wall of bricks
Flame licks the ice thrice times two tainted tubers
Under inspection
The most modest section
Lifetime series of erections

I'm cheating on myself
Cheating on myself
With myself
With myself
Ooh la la menage a moi

The opinion is there's no way it is
OK to be a narcissist
Loving all you touch

You should be humble and grey and gradeless
Never saying: "yeah I made this
I am such the much"

You're just a lump of meat
For the eaten repeaters to grind to dull treats

Your smile's a burden - stop
Your happy wizardry's spoiling misery's plot

You're like the weather: vain
From self and harmony abstain
Into the grain
There til you're morbidly plain

I'm civilized
An intricate numerical device
For making sense of naught
A pot
To piss a tempest into
Thoughts lost in ever onslaught
A tail that's never caught
A womb bloomed in it's own pile of rot


Mine - mineminemine
I am mine
Not your design
Not here to hold up your sign
Never thine
Track Name: The Altar of Efflux
The Altar of Efflux

For peace we live in turmoil
To die with every breath
Robbing Paul to pay the Piper
Paying for our death

We can't get the game
As we soil ourselves in shame
Let it be not so
Delivered from blank-sorrow
When the Good Guys run the show

Wearing blissful countenance
Shining up our teeth
Happy - joyous - loveydovey
Malcontent beneath

There will be none to blame
When we all behave the same
No further to go
There's no longer need to grow
Cos the Good Guys run the show
Cos the Good Guys run the show